Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
