There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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