This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
