It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
