i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize