Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
