I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
