you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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