idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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