What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What a dumb baby whore.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
