you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Plan B is the new Plan A
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
