My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize