you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
