You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
