Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
