Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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