i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
