so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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