Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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