11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
