I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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