who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
