So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
