Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
