The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
