The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
