in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
