someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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