I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
