when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
