I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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