does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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