apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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