Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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