I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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