Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
