There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
