literally had 100 drinks last night.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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