I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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