very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
