those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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