this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
