I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize