where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
