Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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