I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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