well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize