Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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