You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
