When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
