ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
