oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
