so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
