if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Randomize
